#31 - What You Are Capable Of

A common roadblock actors in training run up against is the gulf between how they perceive their character and how their character behaves.

Anyone who has worked with actors has heard one push back against a piece of feedback or direction with this deadly phrase: “My character wouldn’t do that”. Laura Wingfield wouldn’t scream at her mother. Willy Loman wouldn’t take his wife seriously. Dorothy Gale wouldn’t talk down to the Scarecrow as they make their way down the Yellow Brick Road.

Sometimes the actors are right. The play they’re reading could be poorly written, or the director could be making decisions that aren’t in the story’s best interest. But nine times out of ten, this impulse is coming from a place of helplessness. The actor has spent some time getting to know this character, meticulously connecting each line of dialogue to action and motivation, sifting through archetypes and layering in circumstances. And suddenly they’ve been asked to radically change their approach. Acquiescing, they think, will be the same as admitting that they have not done their job.

What separates a great actor from a good one is the willingness to push past this impulse and explore these potential ways of being. What, they think, could push me in this moment to break, or trust someone, or rebel, or nurture?

And once finding that path, they follow it, in a way only they can.

Recent Gigs

Since my last update, I have provided additional voices for the following projects:

• New Saga, Episode 6

Featured Role: Seeka Tron, Lord of Mysteries

This summer, I was cast in the highly-anticipated donghua “Lord of Mysteries” as the English voice of Nighthawk agent and indie author Seeka Tron, thereby becoming a small part of a show that will be running for a long, long, LONG time.

“Lord of Mysteries” is a FASCINATING property with an intricate magic system and meticulous world-building that I have unfortunately not had the time to dedicate myself to examining. Based on what the donghua has chosen to adapt, I’m excited to dive in — particularly after learning about Seeka’s specialities. As a Sequence 8 Midnight Poet, Seeka can use verse to put foes to sleep, take away their will to fight, or strike fear into their hearts. Seeka doesn’t do any of these things in the show, presumably because she’s busy obsessing about whatever story she’s concocting (leading man Klein wryly notes that she would have been a hit in modern day web novel circles).

In a story like this one, full of heavy themes and plot-driving twists, it’s always nice when the writer feels comfortable taking a minute to focus on a supporting character with one weird special interest. I don’t know what’s in store for Seeka in the future, but I’m grateful to Jonathan Rigg for thinking of me when he saw this solid, poised, and dramatic character.

(Side note: I got a chuckle when I read her wiki entry, because she’s described as “average-looking” in the source material and there are multiple people who have piped up in the comments declaring that she is, in fact, hot.)

Consume!

This was a fun little double-feature that I had not planned in advance: two graphic memoirs exploring the author’s relationship to gender.

Written nearly seven years apart, these two pieces are notable for their differences more than their similarities. “Homebody” bookends anecdotes from childhood, teendom, and working adulthood with an extended visual metaphor referenced by the title — the body as a house that can be renovated on the inside and outside. Transition has brought the author peace, and that comes through in the cheery artwork, the pastel colors, and the straightforward, optimistic language threaded into the work.

It’s not that Kobabe forgoes the more positive themes of discovery and self-expression in “Gender Queer” — eir own coming-out narrative is directly linked to eir entry into various fandom communities after all — but these more straightforward stories are anchored by tentpole events centered in struggle, reticence, and confusion. In the opening pages, college-age Kobabe declares that e will keep a tight lid on eir secrets, going so far as to paste blank scrap paper over autobiographical comics made for in-class exercises. The last panel shows eir hand ripping through these pages to uncover the title of the piece that would define eir career. The process of knowing oneself and being known can also be violent.

Anyway, hey, wanna do a nice, enriching thing for yourself and queer artists? Read and support their work. These two books in particular are frequently targeted in coordinated book banning campaigns, with “Gender Queer” sitting near the top of the most-challenged list since its publication. In a time where methodical, regular attempts at large-scale censorship are only becoming more frequent, be a radical — listen to those who take on the monumental task of laying bare their lives.

Performance of the Week

So I made the mistake of showing the pilot episode of Bojack Horseman to a friend of mine and now I think I’m rewatching Bojack Horseman. Oops.

It is WILD returning to this series — 2014 already feels like a lifetime ago, long enough to have developed a distinctive feeling, and this show is VERY 2014. It also sometimes feels like most of the main cast is figuring out the tone and intention of the story — A side effect of a first season that deliberately keeps secrets from its audience. The exception to this is Will Arnett as Bojack, who from the word “go” lets the show’s absurdity speak for itself and just focuses his whole soul on acting. And because of his immediate connection, once the ball really gets rolling he’s given opportunity after opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to just friggin go for it.

Dramaturgy

None of us know ourselves with the level of logic, foresight, or certainty an actor applies to their work. We are all more likely to instinctually behave in certain ways, personalities are real, and learned behavior is a thing. But we are all CAPABLE of anything.

A mild-mannered teacher can become a meth dealer, and then a drug kingpin. A bored housewife can strike fear into her cellmates’ hearts when she’s sent to prison. A military general can collapse into tears. A tyrant can sincerely love his child.

What would it take for you to be brave?

What circumstances would force you to leave your home? Or change its fundamental framework to keep it alive?

If being a parent has always scared you, what would change your mind?

Could you leave behind something that’s always been good for you if it meant you had more freedom and capacity to help others?

Could you lie? Forgive? Destroy? Expose? Lay bare?

How?

You might never know.

Until the moment arrives.

Hollis Beck is a performer and writer who crafts narratives about queer identity, found families, and people who try very hard. More information can be found on her website.